I am Woman hear me Roar...Accepting and celebrating your unique God Design…

Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother's womb. I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made!  I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day.  Your thoughts—howrare, how beautiful!  God, I'll never comprehend them!  I couldn't even begin to count them—

Psalm 139:13-17 (Message)

Understand the tools God has given you.

    God has uniquely created you for a purpose

    You are more valuable beyond your comprehension

    The value you possess divinely connects you to the world around you

    God wants you to focus on Him as the source of our value.

 

Name and face your fears.
•What are you afraid of?
•Have you allowed you insecurities to hold you back?

      •How do you currently deal with Fear?

Identify things from your past.
•What are the turning points in you life they have had a negative impact of the Who of You.
•As you identify a past experience that may be hindering you, I want you to find another person beside you and discuss.
•What steps do you need to take to free yourself from this?

      •Uproot past experiences

 

Quit making excuses!

• What’s right and what’s wrong in your life

• What’s confused in your life 

• Deal with it and release it!

 

Unleash your maximum potential

• What are you good at doing?

• What has been your favorite job? 

• Can you recognize Gods signpost in your life?

 

Embrace your unique God design.

• Your Gifts and Talents

• Your Purpose and Mission 

• His will for your life

 

 

Our Declaration

Lord, you have made me Unique and I understand I’m a reflection of who You are...that is expressed in who you called me to be. I am the

Art of You.

I am Woman Hear Me Roar...Leading without Testosterone Part 1

I have developed over the years as leader.  As I look back, many of the issues I’ve faced have not been because there is a lack of testosterone or the presence of melanin in my skin.  It has been because of my on personal hang-ups.  This has been a journey about discovering, embracing and walking as the person God has created me to become.  Because once you discover that there’s not a person alive that can disqualify you, tear you down, look over you, remove you or STOP YOU, anything’s possible.  It’s about perspective.  My battle and struggles have been with my inward self and not others.  Because of past experiences, I have struggled with confidence in certain areas and battled fears and insecurities which affect me as a leader. So sometimes you may tend to blame others, but as you examine yourself at the core, you discover things you sometimes don’t even know exist. Ultimately, it’s not about testosterone.  Having plenty of that can still make you a terrible leader.

 Leaders are classified by their character and their servant heart that reflects the heart of Jesus.  There are many qualities that make great leaders, and neither gender nor race are included. So it’s not about men being better leaders.  It’s about the leader God has called you to become.  Leadership styles may differ between genders, and that may make you a great or a poor leader.  Let’s look again at a few qualities of a leader: Integrity, Vision, Willingness to listen, Willingness to serve, Adaptability, Trust, Communication, Confidence, Influence, Being inspiring, Being a motivator, Patience, Passion, Perseverance, Teamwork, Wisdom, and Problem Solving. These qualities don’t require a specific gender, race or ethnicity.  They require a condition of the heart which can only be purified through a relationship with Jesus Christ.  My journey as female African- American leader in youth ministry may not have been your story but it’s a story.  All of our stories are different.  All of our challenges are different.  My discovery is on-going.  I’m challenged each week in some way.  At the end of the day, for me it’s about knowing who God has called me to be.  With that comes the courage and boldness that allows me to overcome any obstacle.   So, no I don’t have much testosterone, I’m not an aggressive woman, and sometimes I lack the boldness I need.  Many times I let my insecurities take over.  But at the end of the day, I’m a woman of God who has been called to serve this generation and I just happen to be African-American. I’m a leader who lacks testosterone, and that’s alright.  I’m becoming just who the Father intended for me to become as I mature and grow! So if you are facing challenges because of rules, prejudices, fears or insecurities, know that the Lord is with you, He sees you, He will comfort you.  Be bold, courageous and stand firm. If He has called you, He has prepared you to pass every test that will come your way.

Scriptures that guide:

·          Isaiah 40:31

·          Hebrews 13:

·          Isaiah 43:2

·          Philippians 4:13  

·          Joshua 1:9

·          Psalm 118:5-6   

Books to read:

Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren

Why Not You 28 days to Authentic Confidence by Valorie Burton

What’s really holding you Back by Valorie Burton

Living the Life you were Meant to Live by Tom Paterson

21 Qualities of a Leader by John Maxwell

The Making of a Leader by Frank Damazio

Eating Disorders and Cutting does not Discriminate!

Eating Disorders and Cutting does not Discriminate! Eating Disorders and Self-Mutilation, growing in numbers within African-American Youth GroupsOver eight million people in the United States suffer from an eating disorder such as anorexia nervosa. Self-Mutilation is becoming common and, through the exposure it is getting, is also becoming a trend amongst youth. Although there are not many reports on the demographics of those who suffer from these disorders, we have always deemed them to affect the middle to upper-middle class white community. Well, I want to lift the blinders; eating disorders are touching the black community and our youth groups. As I sit here thinking about what I would like to contribute as my first blog. My mind is racing there is so much to address. As I come to an end of my confusion, I get a call from a concerned parent about her child. To the parent’s surprise, the child has told a friend that she has been cutting. Wow! This is becoming a familiar conversation not just on TV or in the schools but in our youth group here at Destiny.I remember just a few years ago attending conferences and seminars and hearing about the tragic effects of eating disorders and cutting. I began seeing episodes on TV that addressed the condition and brought awareness to the situations. I remember all the media attention that these issues began to garner. Never once did I see a black person affected or portrayed in all the discussion. When I went to seminars, I would turn somewhat of a deaf ear thinking that the information did not apply to the children in my youth group. I had enough experiences that I should have known many of the issues we see today are not limited to one culture. With the influence of media and peer pressure, I knew it was only a matter of time before these disorders surfaced in the black community. We have a saying in my community that just one sniff of the southern cooking would convince anyone to eat. In fact, lots of us may jokingly blame our losing many diet battles on good ol’ southern cooking. But, these disorders have proven oblivious even to the food comforts of southern living.As I sat thru those seminars, I was naïve to think that black girls don’t experience the same pressures to look a certain way or deal with the same self-esteem issues. Needless to say, many may deal with them even more in the black community! I realized that societal trends and issues don’t have a face. Any issues you can name in the white, Hispanic, Asian or black communities can be found in them all. The enemy’s desire to destroy is not limited to race, culture or gender!My theory as a youth minister has been disproven. Societal issues and trends have no color barriers. Our students - whether Caucasian, African-American, Spanish, Asian, etc. - attend the same schools, listen to the same music and watch the same TV shows. They face the same crises that are so prevalent in our society today. The question we ask ourselves is “How do we address it?” How do we love on every student we see each Sunday? How do we let each student know that they are valued and that they are fearfully and wonderfully made? How do we do this when the society we live in tells them a different story? When the society we live in tells them that they are sex objects, property. How do we do this when young girls and people of particular races are demeaned in song lyrics or by overzealous radio hosts! As our society continues to grow in its defaming ridicule towards women, families, schools and cultures, the churches must unite and take a stand to encourage our youth and families. We must commit as churches to create programs, events and strategies to build healthy and strong families. We have a saying within our children’s and youth programs: There is no ministry without family ministry! Our children must understand and embrace Psalm 139. They must understand they are sons and daughters of the King. Godly esteem must be built in our children from infancy as they grow.As I began to do some research on Eating Disorders and Self-Mutilation in the African American Community, I discovered some compelling facts. Binge eating is more common in Black women than White women, and black women were as likely as White women to report binge eating or vomiting. Black women were also more likely to report fasting and the abuse of laxatives or diuretics. Middle-class African-American adolescents unfortunately tended to demonstrate eating disorders and cutting more than other African-American adolescents. The actual facts are still unclear. I can only compare the data I found to the rise in cases in my youth group, and I’m sure other African-American youth groups are experiencing the same patterns. Please hear me, it’s not about race. I just want to bring some clarity to the African-American community that these taboo issues exist and are real in every community.So, as this issue spreads through our youth groups, what can we do as youth pastors, Pastors, youth ministers, youth leaders, teachers, friends, sisters and as parents?Depend on God for wisdom, direction and instruction.W e must realize the issue itself is not food or self-mutilation. These are just symptoms of a greater issue. The issue normally stems from pain, major life trauma, family issues, low-self esteem, or loneliness.We must learn more about the condition so that we recognize the symptoms or possible students who could be susceptible to the disease.Listen to the student who may suffer from Anorexia Nervosa or Bulimia or cutting.Support the student with love and understanding, focusing on affirming their sense of value and self-worth.Give Direction to the student.Depend on God.Prompt the student to admit the condition.Involve the parents.Refer the family to a professional.Scriptures that will guide: Genesis 1:27, Psalm 139:13-14, 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, 1 Peter 2:9, Romans 12:1, Philippians 4:8-9For more information on Anorexia Nervosa, read “The Thin Disguise” by Pam Vredevelt, Deborah Newman, Harry Beverly, and Frank Minirth Also, Josh McDowell & Bob Hostetler’s Handbook on Counseling Youth is a great resource to have in your library.

Sex...with mom and dad

I'm sitting here watching MTV. I heard about a new show entitled Sex...with mom and dad. The concept is great, I like any avenue to get parents and their children communicating. The show is about students who are curious about having sex and some who are already engaged in a sexual relationship. One thing I was surprised to see was the standards that the parents had on the show. They had a standard of abstinence, Wow! The parents did not understand how to convey the message. Dr. Drew then give them task to work on to provoke conversation and understanding. He did not seem in favor of abstinence. It seemed he favored the comprehensive sex education model. The show encourages parents to accept their child's decision, I have a problem with that mindset (I will address in another blog). I don't think the consequences are clearly laid out for the children on that show, no statistics are used. There is not enough focus on life and the "why" in the decisions they are choosing sex. Kids need guidance and unconditional love regardless of their decisions. With many decisions there are consequences and sadly some are deadly. Give those you teach and parent the full Truth! As parents, you must Communicate, Guide(Direct) and Pray.

1. Start by discussing your past decisions with your kids good and bad. Your child needs to know you are human.
2. Set a standard and be the example with your own choices. Don't expect your child to do something you are not doing.
3. Love your child through their mistakes. We all make mistakes and that's why we serve a God that is forgiving and loves us unconditionally. How can we expect the Lord to forgive us when we cannot forgive our children.
4. Be strategic and intentional about your conversations with your children. Take advantage of car rides , dinner and watching TV to discuss issues with your children.

I think its important for children to not just fear the consequences but to fear what SIN does to their life and their relationship with the Lord. Parent the heart not the head, that's not an easy task but the only way. It teaches discipline and obedience unto the Lord.

8th Graders say the darnest things...

Eighth graders say the darnest things!!!...Sometimes its good to just laugh so I wanted to share a funny moment I just encountered. I teach an abstinence program in my county in all the middle school 8th grade classes. I have a moment as I'm giving my great speech that requires classroom participation. I ask the student’s questions and reassuring them "no question is a stupid question". This is their opportunity to ask those questions they have always wanted to ask to an adult so take advantage of the opportunity. Yes, I was setting myself up for disaster! I've taught these classes for about four years and I'm always surprise to hear some of the questions and comments.  I could tell you some stories; I will share more at later time. Back to the story...There is a point in the class where I ask the students to list Viral and Non-Viral diseases. As the students where listing the diseases anything they thought may be an STD, one student with a straight face and as serious as they could be asked me is Autism a STD. I almost lost it...many times students cannot pronounce the words so they will say something close to the spelling. Okay parents we have to do better job communicating about sex to our children, we have eighth graders thinking Autism is a Sexually transmitted disease! I have great hope for this generation. I do for real...all jokes aside.